Tag Archives: Budweiser

AB InBev’s Latest Monstrosity: Bud Light Lime ‘Straw-Ber-Rita’

Bud Light Straw-ber-ita can

One of the worst days of 2012 for me was a few days before Christmas, when my underage, college-going niece asked me to buy her and her two cheerleader friends a “30 rack of Bud Light Lime.”

I refused, of course. Not because I didn’t want to buy beer for a 19 year old and her giggly buddies—I’m a lowlife, after all. I refused because she used the term “30 rack of Bud Light Lime.”

Bud Light is relatively cheap. It’s not challenging. It’s low in alcohol so even amateur drunks can consume it for long periods of time. And it’s consistent, so you know what you’re getting every time you buy a “30 rack.” For these reasons and more, it’s incredibly popular.

But Bud Light is also boring. So AB InBev has to use lots of silly marketing techniques to keep young drinkers and people who don’t actually like beer interested. Techniques that include making beer that tastes like things that don’t taste like beer. Fruit juice, for example, and then putting it in brightly color cans and bottles of all shapes and sizes.

According to a tweet from CNBCBeerNews on Twitter, Bud Light Lime was the second most popular new alcohol release of 2012. I have no idea if this is true or what the number one new release was—probably something that tastes even less like beer than Bud Light Lime. But I know Bud Light Lime is hugely popular among college students, particularly female coeds. And I bet AB InBev’s brand new Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-rita, which is reportedly being released today, will be equally popular.

If you honestly like Bud Light Lime, man, you should drink it to your heart’s content and not care what anybody else thinks. To each his (or her) own. But I dread the day that I have I hear the term “30 rack of Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-rita.” I don’t even like writing it.

Fuck a Straw-ber-ita; drink a damn margarita is you want a beverage that tastes like one.

UBN

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AB InBev Responds to Watered-Down Budweiser Lawsuit with Snide Ad, Lies

AB InBev's watered down Budweiser ad

I’ve blasted AB InBev and Budweiser many times on this blog. And every time I sling harsh criticism at Budweiser, creepers come out of the woodwork to blast me for blasting Budweiser because it is apparently a beer-snob thing to do. It’s also apparently cool to defend Budweiser these days, because Budweiser’s brewmasters are actually talented brewers who create a remarkably consistent product on an insanely huge scale, which, I am told, takes real skill.

I’ll give AB InBev and Budweiser that much. They do a great job of creating cheap, shitty-tasting beer. Lots of people love Budweiser, and that’s all fine and good—lots of people love McDonald’s food, but I wouldn’t say McDonald’s serves good grub. I have family members who turn down the expensive craft brews I bring to functions for Bud Light. But the people who faithfully drink Bud products are usually more interesting in price and the ability to buy large quantities in a single, discounted pack. These people typically want non-challenging brew that tastes just like it did when they first drank it in high school. Good for them.

But I digress.

AB InBev is currently being accused of false advertisement and sued for watering down its Budweiser beer and therein offering a lower alcohol content than its bottles/cans suggest, according to Boston.com. In response to the claims, AB InBen ran a big ol’ ad in 10 newspapers last Sunday. (See above image.)

I won’t get into the merits or lack thereof in the case against Budweiser. I don’t really give a shit. Not a single one. The ad points out that the company has donated millions of cans of water to the American Red Cross and other disaster relief causes. And that’s admirable. But its donated water has absolutely nothing to do with the charges filed against the company.

The text at the bottom of the ad sums up why I harbor such harsh feelings toward AB InBev and its Bud Mud: The company is sketchy.

“[T]he beer in your hand is the best beer we know how to brew. We take no shortcuts and make no exceptions ever.”

That is complete bullshit. The adjuncts AB InBev uses, such as corn and rice, to reduce the costs of its brewing process are the definition of shortcuts and exceptions, are they not? Using a cheaper, inferior product to cut costs is a clear shortcut.

I also honestly have trouble believing that Budweiser’s talented brewmaster believe that they couldn’t make better beer than the low-quality lager they sell under the Budweiser name. Those brewers may love Budweiser and drink it regularly. But the best beer they could make? I doubt it.

UBN

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Budweiser Pretends It Makes Good Beer with Brewmasters’ Project 12 Sampler Pack

Budweiser Project Twelve Sampler Pack Beer

Anheuser-Busch and its King of Shitty Beers, Budweiser, plan to release a 12-pack sampler of three new “craft” beers on October 29. Something tells me they’ll taste a lot like all of the other crap beers Budweiser brews.

The Budweiser Brewmasters’ Project Twelve sampler will feature three “Zip Code beers” that were named based the zip codes of the Budweiser breweries where they were created. The three beers will be as follows:  Budweiser Batch No. 91406 (Los Angeles), a deep-amber lager with 6-percent alcohol by volume (ABV); Budweiser Batch No. 63118 (St. Louis), a deep-golden pilsner with 6-percent ABV; and Budweiser Batch No. 23185 (Williamsburg, Va.), a bourbon-cask lager with 5.5-percent ABV.

The three beers were created as part of Budweiser’s Project 12, in which brewers from each of A-B’s 12 Budweiser breweries collaborated to create 12 beers, which were then tasted by “tens of thousands of consumers.” The company narrowed the total number of beers down from 12 to 3 based on taster feedback, and it is packaging the 3 most popular brews.

To be fair, I haven’t tried any of Bud’s new Project Twelve beers, so I can’t accurate say whether they’re just more of the same poor-quality swill from Budweiser. That said, I don’t think I’d waste money on any of them anyway, so I’ll probably never know.

Find more information on Budweiser’s Project Twelve sampler pack on Anheuser-Busch.com.

UBN

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