Category Archives: Humor

Awesome Animated Beer Labels Make Me Want to Start Drinking Right Now

Alchemist Heady Topper Motion

I don’t really have much to say about these fantastic animated beer labels from Beer Labels in Motion, except that they’re making it hard to be productive this morning. It’s cool to start drinking at 10 am on a weekday, while you’re in the office and supposed to be working, right? Right?

Pop on over to BeerLabelsInMotion.Tumblr.com for more.

UBN

via Gizmodo

Pretty Things Jack D'Or Motion

Clown Shoes Miracle Motion

21st Amendment Bitter American Motion

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Tuesday is Gueuzeday

20130531_175757-MOTION

Ya heard? Tuesday is gueuzeday, at least in these parts.

I like to celebrate the death of the start of the work week and the coming of humpday with a nice, room-temp tumbler of Belgian gueuze – preferably Cantillon or Tilquin. The gueuze pictured in the image above is Gueuzerie Tilquin’s fantastic Oude Quetsche Tilquin A l’ancienne, a top-notch gueuze made with plums. I’ve never seen this one for sale in the United States; I shipped mine in from Belgium. So you probably won’t be able to find this particular spontaneously-fermented beverage. But I strongly suggest running out to your local purveyor of fine beer right now so you too can partake in the Guezeday festivities.  If nothing else, it’s an excuse to drink on Tuesday.

UBN

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Chilled – Not Frozen – Craft Beer is Happy Craft Beer

Novelsit Haruki Murakami with a frozen Budweiser can

“[A] cold beer at the end of the day is the best thing life has to offer. Some choosy people say that a too cold beer doesn’t taste good, but I couldn’t disagree more. The first beer should be so cold you can’t even taste it. The second one should be a little less chilled, but I want that first one to be like ice. I want it to be so cold my temples throb with pain. This is my own personal preference of course.”

– Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

Freezing, ice-cold beer may be Mr. Murakami’s preference–or the preference of the character who’s speaking in his novel, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. But it sure isn’t mine.

Call me “choosy,” but unless I’m drinking Budweiser or some other watered-down, poor-tasting brew, I’d rather drink it chilled or close to room temperature.

That’s just my own personal preference of course.

The colder the beer, the less you can taste it. Ice-cold liquids numb your taste buds. That’s a fact, and one you can easily test. Just do a side-by-side tasting of a freezing cold brew and a room temperature one. Now, if you choose to drink shitty beer, than freezing cold may be the way to go. But with so much good beer on the market, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not truly tasting and savoring it.

UBN

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I’m Still Beer

I'm Still Here, I'm Still Beer

I’ve been trying to cut back on the consumption of beer and other alcoholic beverages lately to get my slovenly ass into some kind of (mental and physical) shape, and to give my swollen liver a break. (Doctor’s orders.) As such, I’ve been staying away from this blog.

It’s difficult to immerse yourself in beer-related subject matter, a necessary action for any self-respecting beer blogger–at least in my opinion–and not drink beer.

But I wanted to let you know I’m still here. And I’m still beer.

In the past, I’ve tried to post as often as possible on this blog, but that’s just not the reality for me at this point. In the future, my posts will be more spread out, but you’ll probably see less ranting and raving about how much I hate Budweiser and other silly subjects. So there’s that.

UBN

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5 O’Clock on Friday is Rodenbach Time

Fuck Guinness Time. It’s five o’clock on Friday, and that’s Rodenbach time as far as I’m concerned. I’m about to crack a frosty Flemish red, and I thought I’d share this funky old vintage Rodenbach sign I recently found on the Belgian brewer’s Facebook page:

Rodenbach Time vintage sign

And here’s my very own Rodenbach Grand Cru:

Rodenbach Grand Cru bottle and glassware

This is the first beer I’ve had this week, so I’m really looking forward to it. Happy Friday, errybuddy. Cheers, sláinte, proost, santé and all that good stuff.

UBN

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The Beeriodic Table of Elements

While bottling a batch of my UBN Big Dipper Belgian-style double IPA (UBN BDIPA) last weekend at Barleycorn’s Craft Brew in Natick, Mass., I spotted this amusing “Beeriodic Table” poster. It’s a beery take on the scientific Periodic Table of Elements.

The Beeriodic Table

From Beeriodic.com, where you can purchase your own Beeriodic Table post for $11.50 (plus shipping):

“This authentic marriage of general chemistry and zymurgy (brewing) is intended to be delightfully entertaining. Even if you aren’t a science or beer drinking type, you might still find the poster intriguing. It serves as a classy addition to most any wall, and it could quite possibly be the perfect gift idea!

“Each of the 112 blocks comprising the poster showcases the ‘science’ (elemental information) along with the ‘suds’ (a beer’s information) by pairing a specific beer to a specific element.”

A Beeriodic Table poster could make a nice addition to man cave, barroom or other drinking spot. Something tells me my girl wouldn’t appreciate it if purchased one and hung it in our tiny apartment though.

UBN

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Got a Case of Bad Nerves? Get a Case of Good Beer

Cases of Heady Topper IPA

“There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer.” – Joan Goldstein

I have no idea who Ms. Goldstein is, and Google wasn’t particularly helpful in finding out. But I like her style. I don’t totally agree with this quote, and I can think of a few other chemical and pharmaceutical fixes for ragged nerves that may top beer. But personally, I prefer the beer—especially if it’s Heady Topper. On a snowy Tuesday evening after a long day of alternating between shoveling and sitting in front of a computer monitor, I really need a beer to calm my nerves. Or 24 of them.

UBN

Image via Reddit

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The Award for Worst Beer Names at 2013 Extreme Beer Fest Goes to…

Short's Brewing Co. booth at 2013 Extreme Beer Fest EBF

Short’s Brewing Co. booth at EBF 2013

Short’s Brewing Co. of Bellaire, Michigan! Congrats Shorts on having the strangest and most unappealing names for beers at this year’s Extreme Beer Fest (EBF) in Boston!

Craft brewers are typically laidback, quirky types. The names they give their beers are frequently creative, unique, amusing and sometimes even offensive.  Many of the names are designed to reflect qualities of the beers and help make drinkers remember them. Others are just fucking odd.

I attended the 2013 EBF last weekend, and I had almost as much fun reading all the beer names as I did drinking the brews. (Check out some scenes from this year’s EBF here.) Some of my favorite names: Evil Twin’s Justin Blåbær, a Berliner Wiessebier with blueberries (blåbær is the Danish word for blueberry); The Alchemist’s fantastic Heady Topper double IPA (love me some Heady); Allagash’s De Molen Smoke & Beards tripel; The Bruery’s Sour in the Rye sour ale; and Firestone Walker’s FW Barrelworks Wild Weisse Berliner Weissbier.

But one particular brewery’s names caught my eye at EBF—for all the wrong reasons. Short’s Brewing offered more different beers than any other brewery at EBF, and about half of them sported names that immediately turned me off. In fact, I didn’t try a single one of Short’s beers.

There was Sweet Taters, an American Brown Ale; Stray Cat Street Fighting for the Devil, an old ale; Bloody Beer, a fruit/vegetable beer; Short’s Keylime Pie and, quite possibly the worst name for a beer I have ever heard: Ben’s Asthma, a Russian imperial stout.

Before you drop a comment to let me know what an asshole I am for putting Short’s on the spot, I want to clarify two things: 1) I am well aware that I am an asshole; and 2) this post is really meant in jest. I have nothing against Short’s or its beers. I just don’t like the names. I didn’t skip Short’s beers because I don’t like their names. I skipped them because I’ve already tried most of them. Okay, I haven’t tried Ben’s Asthma, but I honestly have no desire to drink a beer named after a breathing condition.

Ribbing aside, Short’s makes some quality brew. I’m particularly fond of its Huma Lupa Licious IPA, and it’s unique The Soft Parade strong ale with a shitload of berries is also worth a try if that’s your thing.

UBN

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Urban Beer Nerd Self Portrait

Urban Beer Nerd self portrait

Conventional blog wisdom suggests that people want to feel like they know the writers they read. I have no idea why. Writers are idiots. And bloggers suck. Trust me. I know. You can’t really know someone without seeing what they look like. Well, I guess you can, but you’ll always be curious about appearance. So I decided to share a self portrait. And what better way to get one than with a shitty cell phone camera and a dirty bathroom mirror, just like all the fools on Instagram do. Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, I give you my Urban Beer Nerd self portrait.

UBN

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On Beer and Tea

Bar sign drink beer tea sucks

“After water and tea, beer is the third most popular drink in the world.” – Garrett Oliver, in the preface to the 2011 Oxford Companion to Beer. (Oliver is the brewmaster at The Brooklyn Brewery.)

Interesting factoid. But the above image, taken last year outside of Bukowski Tavern in Cambridge, Mass., sums up my feelings on the subject.

UBN

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