I never buy beer for minors, though I’ve been asked to on a number of occasions—Boston is packed with thirsty underage college students. I had to come up with creative ways to get beer when I was underage, so why should it be easy for today’s budding drinkers? (Plus, they never want good beer, only 30 packs of shitty schwill.)
I came across the sign you see above earlier today, and it got me thinking that the Patron Spirits Company, which paid for the billboard, probably shouldn’t be thanking everyone who refuses to buy beer for teenagers. Here’s why.
Last week, a couple of minors, presumably college kids, allegedly gave a Boston man $25 to buy them alcohol; $20 for the booze, $5 for the man. But the man decided he wanted more than just five dollars—can you blame him, that’s only enough for two 40-ounce Steal Reserves—so he exited the liquor store empty handed and returned just $3 of the kids’ $25.
When the minors protested, the man pulled out a syringe, jabbed himself and drew blood and then threatened them with it while screaming that he had AIDS. The kids found a nearby officer, told him the story and they soon arrested 47-year-old Jose Soler, who was found in the nearby Forest Hills subway station—just a mile from one of my old abodes. Soler reportedly had a syringe in one hand and a wrinkled up $20 bill in the other. Damning evidence, to be sure.
Soler has been charged with two counts of armed robbery and assault with a hypodermic needle, and he’s being held on $2,500 cash bail, according to BostonHerald.com.
Being the upstanding citizen I am, I went ahead and fixed that billboard.